Liquor soaked memories. Most which will last me a lifetime, but moments I still try and piece together. My brain hurts in a straining hunger for another night of forgettable unforgetfulness. Or possibly, aches for a greasy breakfast burrito to dilute lingering toxicity that poisons my bloodstream.
The nights where tequila coated my throat with its soothing silky flame. Or twilight moments of rippled heat under my cheeks when colliding with curious hands . I still assemble the puzzle of minutes standing in a kitchen, clad in tarp and streamers, when I wastedly spooned heaps of cookie dough into my mouth. Perhaps the brief seconds, entangled in the arms of a stranger. Together, unintentionally, tackling a trash can spilling its contents onto the floor, alongside our drowned out laughter.
Evening hours that were kept warm by a liquor dressing my nerves more than my clothes had. I still feel the heated breaths along my neck between sensual encounters, and the burns on my skin beneath a desired grip on my waist. I miss the stippling dewy sweat on my body beneath sublet covers of someone I won’t see tomorrow.
When I close my eyes in recollection, I draw the stepping stones stars once painted for me atop a vacant street. My lonesome feet had bounced over each speck of midnight glitter, dragging my loose hair in its tepid breeze.The spotlight through darkness became more special than the sun – accentuating a life that was mine, and not shared beneath daylights portioned illumination. I see the flashing memories drowned in alcohol, spinning round like the stars when I had stared at them for a moment too long. My dreams trace a clouded remembrance of fire that burned in my throat and one that blazed in my veins, heightening each sense.
Oh how I dream of the intoxicated midnights under the moon, while the hearth inside me longs for that unforgettable fire once again – awaiting fluid from borrowed $10 liquor, and a flame unborn, craving a stranger’s lost touch.